Co-parenting

So, its been a few days since my last post.  Sorry, it's been CRAZY!

Tonight, I decided to talk about my thoughts on co-parenting.  Its not easy, not even close, but it is important.

For some, it may be much easier.  There are some broken couples that have very similar parenting styles, very open lines of communication, and have nothing to gripe about when it comes to the other party.  For those of you in this situation, congratulations, you should be commended.

For some of us however, there isn't the same kind of luck.  Some couples who have split up, split for very obvious reasons.  In my situation, there are trust issues, inability to communicate on all levels, different views on parenting, and a very different idea of stability and consistency.

Things have gotten better over the years as now we can for the most part remain civil and try to talk things out.  But at times, we still see things very very differently.  And when we don't see eye to eye, it makes for uncomfortable meetings.

Its hard, with the past issues, to know that the important things are done consistently.  It's even more difficult considering that we have a hard time believing what the other person says.  Also, in raising a little girl, some things that may be okay for mom, are not okay for my house.  For example, a little girl can sleep in mommy's bed, or take a shower with mommy, but then when she comes home, she wants to do those things with me.

Obviously, I have to say no.  It would not be appropriate for a 4 year old girl to take a shower with daddy.  I tried to make this point, but it seemed that the request for consistency was ignored.  So, I had to take a different approach.  I told Aubrie that mommy is a girl, and she is a girl, and that certain things are okay in that situation.  Daddy is a boy, so at daddy's house, things are different.  At first, it was a tough concept for my little lady to grasp.  As time went on, she started to understand.  Did I do the wrong thing?  Well, I tried not to, but when there is no cooperation, I am forced to follow another route.

At the same time, my daughter has a very creative mind.  Sometimes, what she says, isn't quite what happens.  So asking her if she brushed her teeth or slept in her own bed, may have a twisted answer.  I don't want to put her in the middle by asking questions or probing, but I need to know these things.  I mean, don't we all want to know that our children are doing what they need to do?

So, how do we get to a point where we can trust and communicate when it seems all the trust, and willingness to communicate are nonexistent?  It would be great if everyone had Pinocchio's nose wouldn't it?

The fact of the matter is that not all co-parents will see eye to eye, or answer questions honestly.  All we can really do is hope that that will someday change in the best interest of the children, and that eventually we can get to a point where that line of communication is straight forward and open.

Well, daddy is tired and has to be at work early tomorrow in order to get home in time for the munchkin's first soccer practice.  I hope everyone has a great evening.

Thanks again!

Chris