I'll never forget the phone call in November of 2006... "Chris, I need to talk to you about something". The 9 words that make any man's heart race. As the conversation proceeded, so many emotions ran through me. Even the thought of the "A-word". Yes, I too requested that be done. I later heard a song that changed my perspective and my life! You can hear the song below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5f9-b-Zfnw&feature=share
Soon I began to indulge in the idea of being a father, in fact, I even resumed a relationship with her mother. January of 2007 we actually moved in together in the home I was renting in my college town. I watched her stomach grow, which to me is a beautiful thing. A pregnant woman is beautiful in a whole different kind of way.
When the end of the school year came along, we moved back to the Denver Metro area. We lived with a couple of friends, and I resumed my summer employment at Elitch Gardens. A month later, mom was developing Preeclampsia, an allergy to the baby. When we went to the hospital for a migraine, we soon realized.... IT WAS BABY TIME!
Mom and I had both fallen asleep, until I woke up instantly to three words I will never forget, "Her water broke". Bam, just like that, I was on my feet! What an amazing experience that was. May 9th, 2007, Aubrie Ann Ezell was born. All 4 pounds 4 ounces of her! I have such a clear memory of when it was all said and done. I was holding moms hand, crying and repeating "You did it, you did it".
We spent 2 days at the hospital before we were cleared to go home. An unforgettable summer, 14 hour days at work, and long sleepless night in the kitchen with the water running. I slept on that tile floor countless times holding my baby, because only the sound of running water was soothing to her ears.
As August approached, we all moved back to Gunnison, CO. so I could finish school. I had one semester remaining. During that semester, I watched my baby learn and grow. She learned to crawl, said her first words, and even learned to walk by 10 months! Watching a child learn those things is quite incredible! I loved watching the cute things she did....
Like holding a bottle for the first time....
Or falling asleep in her rainforest Jumparoo.....
Her first Halloween costume.....
As that semester continued, my life changed. I devoted my senior show to being a father and titled it "Defining a father". The idea was to Illustrate the traits that a good father would have using 20 inch by 30 inch Virtue Posters.
Like being a teacher.....
All in all there were thirteen, including Nurturing, Enthusiastic, Dedicated, Patient, and Loving among others. It was nice to graduate, but even more exciting dedicating my show to my munchkin!
We moved back to Denver in April of 2008. This is when things got rough. I started to look for employment, and took a job selling cars. It was fun, but unreliable. I decided after a 17 day period without a single customer on the lot, that my focus should be on finding a Graphic Design job. Unfortunately, that was more difficult than I expected. Things got worse, and in September, I became a single father.
Mom and I tried to be fair, but we had trouble doing so. I worked hard to support my daughter, even providing mom with food and diapers the two days or so a week she had her. I helped to pay phone bills, and portions of the rent. In March of 2009, it became apparent that we had to go through the inevitable court battle. And man was that UGLY! 30,000 dollars, stress, fighting, and even psychological evaluations! In July, I was given full custody for reasons I'd like to not make public.
Soon after.... the shock came!
In september of 2009, mom requested a paternity test claiming my baby wasn't mine. Not sure what provoked it, perhaps she wanted to get rid of me, or maybe just out of spite. I wasn't quite sure why it happened, but it did. A week or so later, I was in the office giving DNA samples. The results came back, and my heart was broken... the child I was raising was someone else's!
I spent two days feeling broken until I realized that it changed NOTHING! I was there for her first breath, I will be there as DADDY when I walk her down the aisle on her wedding day! The only time it really got to me after that was when I was told, "Oh man, she looks JUST LIKE YOU". Daggers in the chest every time.
Oh well, life goes on! And so does my love for her!
Its been almost 2 years since the shocking news, and not much has changed. I'm still her Residential parent. At times I struggle financially as any single parent might. We still spend loads of time together. And I still love her more than life itself, even when she gets a little bratty!
I wasn't planning on using this blog to tell my story, or to toot my own horn. Just wanted to give a background story before I get into the real topics..... parenting as a single parent, the ups and downs, my opinions of what a child needs, etc. So tomorrow, the real deal begins, I hope you keep reading! Feel free to leave comments, add perspectives, or tell a story of your own!
Thanks,
Chris
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